


Nine Lives for Love

by ScriptedBy



Category: Kim Woojin fandom, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Heartbreak, M/M, Short, Smut, mention of threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:49:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27006118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScriptedBy/pseuds/ScriptedBy
Summary: When Felix falls in love, he falls fast and hard. He gave in to love so easily. But everytime he falls in love, it always ends up with a heartbreak. He didn't give up though, he still falls in love all over again even if it will only lead him to heartbreak.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Woojin/Lee Felix, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)/Son Youngjae | Eric, Lee Felix/Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Kudos: 32





	1. Feel the Love

**Author's Note:**

> I took the inspiration of writing this fic from HYOLYN'S 9LIVES.

When Felix falls in love, he falls fast and hard. He gave in to love so easily. But everytime he falls in love, it always ends up with a heartbreak. He didn't give up though, he still falls in love all over again even if it will only lead him to heartbreak. 

Felix lays bare in the middle of his lover's bed.

"You're so beautiful." Changbin whispers above, looking at his eyes lovingly. Felix just blushed, squirming when he suddenly felt so shy in front of Changbin. It's not the first time he was naked in front of the older but this will be the first time that they'll gonna do it. He covers his hands on his face.

"Baby, don't hide.."

"Changbin, just get to it already." He whined a little.

Changbin chuckles, "are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Yes."

And everytime he was asked about it, he always answered it with a 'yes.'


	2. young and in love

He was a freshman in high school when he felt it. During the welcoming-of-new-students in the auditorium, there he saw a curly blonde with cute dimples, speaking on stage. He was the student body's president and he was handsome. After the program, he wanders around like a lost child carrying his bag and a school map which he didn't know how to read. He was trying to locate his room.

"Hey, you kinda look like you need help."

Felix was startled a little when he heard an angelic voice behind him. It was the president and he was more handsome up close.

"Uh—hello? Are you okay?" There was a slight concern in his voice.

"I think I'm in love." Felix thought and then he heard a giggle. It was music to his ears. But—

"Oh shit. I'm sorry. Did I say it out loud? I—uh—just pretend you didn't hear it."

"Hey, it's fine. It's kinda cute though." And the warm smile he received from the blonde warmed his entire system. His crisis at the moment has forgotten.

"I didn't hear your name when the dean introduced you a while ago but I'm Felix." Yes, he's confident like that, gay and confident. A chuckle could be heard again and Felix saw a glint of mischief in the blonde's eyes.

"Bang Chan. Nice to meet you, Felix. And welcome to the school."

A few months later, Felix had his legs wrapped around Chan's strong hips as the older tortured his neck marking him up after he had been slammed hard on Chan's dorm's door.

They were sneaking around and dating for a few months since class started, they helped each other's release but not as intense as this.

"God, I wanna fuck you right here, right now." Chan mumbled, licking the younger's ear before he nimbled on it sensually.

"Maybe next time." Felix panted hard.

Chan knew Felix was still a virgin and fucking him on his door was not a good idea, so he carried Felix into his bedroom and into his bed.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Fuck, Chan, what do you think? Of course, yes!" He thought he was so in love of the older. He thought of not letting him go. He thought he was the one. Hey, he was young and so in love, what can he do?

Chan chuckled, freeing himself from all of his clothes, "feisty huh, I like it."

"Oh god, shut up and fuck me already!"

"That mouth of yours really.."

"You love it though."

Chan didn't answer but pressed his lips instead to the younger's mouth again while Felix hummed in return and wrapped his arms around Chan's neck.

When Felix was free from his clothings, he positioned himself in between Chan's sturdy legs and sucked him hard. It was not the first time they're doing this, they always have time even in school, in between their busy school days and Chan being a president but Chan has still time to drag Felix into one of the restroom's cubicles and let him blow him.

"That's enough, baby. Don't wanna cum yet. We had plans, remember?"

"Right." Felix answered after he pulled his mouth from Chan's throbbing cock. He slowly crawled his way on top of the older. Just from staring at Chan's toned body, he felt like he could cum already.

"What? Having second thoughts?" Chan teased.

Felix shakes his head, "nah, just that you're so hot."

"Well, I've got an equally hot and sexy man on top of me.."

They cummed together with fucked out expression on both of their faces. They were catching up their breathes and upon looking down to Chan's face, Felix can't control himself but utter those words.

"I love you." Because that's what he had felt towards this man. He was in love with Chan since the first day of school.

Chan was shocked but it was just for a second, then he pulled out of Felix, "Felix, we can't do that."

"What? Why? It's true, I love you, hyung. I love you since first day!"

Chan just sighed and Felix could hear his heart beating crazily. The hot moments that they shared were forgotten and all he felt was new to him. It suddenly became cold, not because he was still barenaked but he felt like his heart was being coated with cold ice and it spread throughout his entire body.

"You know I'll graduate in 2 months right?" Chan said after he put on all of his clothes back.

"What's wrong with that? We can still be together even—"

"Felix, I'll go to Australia and finish my college there."

"Then we can still communicate through—"

"That's not how it will work!"

"How did you know? You don't even want to try.." at this point Felix was sobbing.

"Fuck..I'm sorry, Felix, if I let this happen this far. But we can't do that. I care about you but that's all, I—I'm sorry."

He felt like everything was crushing down, it isn't the feeling of how he met the older before anymore. Right now, even though he's stopped sobbing, but he felt like something was pinching in his chest. It hurts. So maybe Chan just made him a distraction and he was so naive that he believed and thought that Chan was the one. Well, Felix was still young and in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fast forward much? Yeah, I know. This is actually a one-shot fic that I'll have to chunk it down into little chapters. :)


	3. Summer Love

Chan graduated but the pain he created was still there somewhere in Felix's chest. He didn't even say goodbye. The only thing that Felix knew was school year's over. It was summer and the pain was still there as if it happened just yesterday. 

Felix found himself a summer job just to save some money in preparation for the next school year. He'll serve sweets in a small café just around the corner near the school. Felix had been living alone since 3rd grade of Elementary when his parents died, he had his uncle who sent him school but often went to business travels so his uncle sent him to a dormitory school than to be left alone in an apartment. He was still alone but he managed to stand on his own feet. There was a nice granny in his Elementary school before, she owned one of the canteens there, she always looked out for him up until he graduated.

He took and used all of his time and energy in work, trying to forget a certain curly blonde with cute dimples. He tried to forget all those nights that he cried hard until he passed out. He didn't feel the ache until he was really gone without saying goodbye. After that certain night, they became cold to each other, it was like Chan became a new person. For the last two months of the school year, they were strangers to each other.

"Hello? Uh—are you okay? You kinda looked like you're about to cry." Someone had snapped him out of his thoughts, the person was obviously a fluent English speaker just by listening to his accent. There's only one man that he can remember who was so fluent in speaking that language and Felix really was about to cry. He even forgot that he was in the cafe, it was his shift, and he was wiping down and cleaning some tables. Thank God no customer in that area, but—

"Uhm, hey. Are you okay?" He blinked a few times to hold the tears from falling and turned to look at the person talking to him.

"Uh—" He cut himself off upon seeing the person and yes he was hearing it correctly, the voice sounded like it was owned by not any less younger than him. The guy gave him a bright smile. Cute.

"Thanks. You're very cute too."

Felix widened his eyes in realization that he had said it out loud, "oh, I'm sorry. Just pretend you didn't hear it." He said hurriedly. This was damn familiar. He swore this was a deja vu. He could feel how warm his cheeks were.

The guy chuckled,"it's fine. I love your voice. You're face and voice didn't match. But it was good, I like it." How was he going to reply on that? 

Felix cleared his throat, "are you going to order something?" He finally moved away from the guy, he was wondering why must his heart beat so fast while going behind the counter.

"I will if you tell me your name and maybe I can help you so give me your number too." A bright grin was plastered on the boy's face and Felix let his eyebrow rose a little. This kid is so flirty.

"Well, by this time, I'm sure you got my name. You keep on looking at my name plate." He even pointed the name plate that being clipped on his apron for emphasis. And he can see how red the boy's cheeks are. He even scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

Felix took pity to the boy standing awkwardly in front of him, he smiled and continued," I don't need help, me zoning out a while ago was not your business but it was nice of you for offering help even without knowing what my problem was. So about my number, I'll give it to you if you'll be back here at 5:00."

"Then I'll be here at 5:00." The blush on the other boy's face looked cute as he turned to walk out of the door and he looked at Felix again as if he forgot something.

"Oh my name is Eric by the way. And I'll be back later to see you, Felix." Felix smiled when the other boy, Eric, winked at him before he was gone out of the door completely. Eric was cute, Felix smiled again remembering how Eric cutely smiled at him when he's embarrassed. And then again, Felix can't control the beating of his heart. It was crazy and he was sure that this feeling was familiar, must be a deja vu.

They became closer after that and maybe became more than friends, always meeting up after Felix got off from work. They've got a few similar things they liked and in that short of time he was sure that he was falling in love again. Eric was sweet and charming and very understanding, they always out on a date and during Sundays they go to the beach. 

They did it when they were a bit tipsy after chilling and having fun from the bar Eric brought him to. It was the last week of summer, a good escape to enjoy the remaining days of the season. They didn't exchange the magic words yet and that was okay because for Felix, it was too early for that. He felt contented and happy and even so sure how the moments with Eric were perfect. It was different this time..or so he thought.

He thought it would be different this time but it turned out to be the same from the last one. Eric was just on vacation and it's his last week until he'll be back to America. Huh, that was familiar and yet he just gave Eric a smile. He's not mad of Eric, totally not, he was mad of himself for being so easy to fall in love.

"It's okay, Eric. Don't worry about it." He told Eric when he confessed about his vacation being almost over, he gave Eric the same smile he gave the other when they first met to reassure him.

And that was it, though it hurt him, he still felt happiness a bit. Maybe Eric really did helped him. He helped him survived summer, he helped him got over Chan. It was Eric's reason in the first place why he came inside of the café that day; to help him with his problem.


	4. Lonely Nights

Felix thought that it was okay but it never did. He never expected it to be this hard. It was hard to forget those feelings when he's in the same bar Eric brought him to a couple of days ago.

It was three months later and he was in second year of high school. School was hell during the day and his nights were lonely. Felix decided to let loose and give his one not-so-uncommon night a try to indulge in a bar.

"Alone this time?" His thoughts has been cut off by the cute bartender with squirrel like cheeks also with a HAN written on his nameplate.

"Uh—sorry?" The bartender grinned at him making his cheeks look fuller. He really looked like an overgrown squirrel—

"I get that a lot."

Oh damn. Not again.

Felix spluttered, "oh god, I'm sorry, just pre—"

"Hey man, it's cool. It's fine."

Felix shuts up and blinks up at the guy, he has a mischievous smirk on his face. Probably it's the alcohol that messed up his mind right now because what he saw in the guy's eyes was that they sparkled due to the light's reflection.

"Sorry. I don't want to be a creep but I remember you with someone before."

"Oh wow, I admire your memory."

"It's hard to forget that face of yours." The smile the other gave made Felix's stomach flip. This couldn't be happening again, Felix thought. But it was indeed starting again, he can feel his heart beating so fast just by looking at the grinning guy behind the counter. He cleared his throat to distract himself from the erratic beating of his heart.

"Uh well, that guy I was with before was a friend who spent his summer vacation here." That wasn't totally a lie right?

The bartender gave him a grateful look. Maybe for answering his question?

"You looked like you don't wanna be here."

"Kinda." Felix shrugs before he continues, "it was a lonely night so I tried to get out."

"I only have 9 minutes left until my shift's over. Wanna get out of here?"

It was impossible how easy for the bartender to pinned him on the metal sliding door of Jisung's flat. He has twig arms but he was strong. The guy's squeezing his ass when Felix remembered something.

"Wait, at least tell me your name first." Felix pulled from the bartender's lips.

"I'm Jisung." This bartender, Jisung, nibbled on Felix's lower lip.

"Jisung? How about the Han imprinted on your nameplate?" Jisung paused his action to look at Felix.

"My surname, baby." Then Jisung changed his attention to Felix's neck. Felix moaned to a certain bite, he gasped as he told Jisung his name, "I'm Felix."

"I know. I heard your friend called you before."

Felix moaned once again when Jisung has his hand slipped inside Felix's pants to squeeze his butt cheeks again.

When they cummed, they took a moment to breath and Felix noticed a bothered and anxious look on Jisung's face. He frowned a little for he kinda knew what was wrong, he thought he had experienced this before.

"Jisung? Are you okay?"

It took a moment and a few sighs for Jisung to answer him, "I'm sorry, Felix. I shouldn't have—"

"Hey, it's okay." Felix quickly reassured the other, it's not like he has other choice. This shit is happening again. Jisung was nice, cheeky, and confident but he thinks that this guy is still not for him.

"It's just that, I have a fight with my boyfriend and—God, I'm sorry!" Jisung sobbed in front of Felix. He expected this to happen, the vibe with Jisung kinda told him that it's a one night stand.

"It's fine. I hope you'll both figure it out soon."

Jisung chuckled, "actually I have a crush on you, if I don't have a boyfriend already I'll—"

"Bang me? You kinda did." Felix chuckled too that turned to be a big laugh with Jisung. Of course, Felix was used to this situations.

That lonely night was followed by another a couple of months later, he met a cute kid at the park named Jeongin. Felix wanted a serious relationship this time but the kid has the same bothered and anxious look on his face when they almost did it. They made out a lot and he was whipped but he has the same problem with Jisung. And as whipped as he was already to the kid, he respected him, reassured him that it was okay and that he didn't have to worry and hope for him to resolve the problem with his boyfriend. Done. He can't believe how he thought of having serious relationship already, how can he be so sure of it? He thought maybe he was really that whipped of the younger, but it was okay. He was used to it by now.


	5. In love again (and thought would last for life)

Felix has peaceful days during his third year of high school. No more bars and he focused himself to study and thought about what he wanted to do in the future. While there's nothing specific yet, he's still in high school anyway. He just enjoyed his days at the moment but he really can't enjoy more on everything without food, so he's here in a supermarket to buy some food. But he halted his train of thoughts when he was about to pull his wallet out from his pocket and he found out that it wasn't there.

"Shit!" Felix cursed to himself, how could he forget his wallet and he has lots of food to pay on the cashier's counter. He looked at the cashier while brainstorming ways to how he'll solve his problem at hand. The cashier has this calm look on his face. He even smiled at him, well that smile was about to fade after knowing what seemed to be the problem.

"You look hungry." And wow even his voice is so angelic, music to his ears.

"Yeah. School stuff,— and uh—" Felix can't really say it, it's embarrassing, he's just thankful it's almost midnight and there's not many shoppers around to witness his misery, that will be way more embarrassing. He pats his back pocket again and again out of habit and as if doing so his wallet will magically appear.

"Lemme guess, you forgot your wallet." How could he still sound so kind?

"Uhm—y-yeah. I'm sorry, I'll just-"

"It's on me. I don't want you to starve tonight just because you forgot to bring your wallet." The cashier winked at him. Felix knew this kinda impossible to happen but who was he to decline if the guy was so kind.

"T-thank you. B-but I'll be back tomorrow after school, I'll pay you!" 

"I promise!" He added.

The cashier smiled again, "well, I gotta need your name and number for that." He then winked at Felix before proceeding to work on his items.

And that my friends our little sunshine has fallen in love again. This time though he was sure that it was different. Woojin is an angel, so caring and patient with him. He was not lonely anymore and he thought that this time was different, it was real and serious. He was happy. They were happy. He finally has a serious relationship.

Woojin in bed was different though. He's wild in contrast of his calm demeanor. Felis learned a lot from him, from using sex toys to different sex positions. They make out a lot and they have sex in almost all of the corners and space of Woojin's flat. But it was okay, Felix loved Woojin, so it's okay. He enjoyed and he was happy with him.

Felix was riding Woojin's big cock in the latter's couch at the moment. It's weekend and Felix was again here in Woojin's flat since the older has day shift, after dinner they had cuddled on the couch while watching some movie. But moments later, the movie was forgotten when their innocent kisses turned to be heated.

"Hyung—" Felix moaned when one particular bounce on Woojin's cock made to brush it's tip to his prostate.

"Baby, you're doing so good for hyung." Woojin murmured on the younger's ear, then he spanked Felix's left butt check.

Felix's bouncing on the older faltered as he was not expecting that hit, he hissed a little, it stung. It was the first time Felix had spanked by the older during sex and he never spanked before from his past relationships. He felt uncomfortable but then Woojin spanked him again, on the right butt cheek this time, he moaned out of pain because it stung, but he managed to move again on bouncing again even though he felt different. He tried to not mind it as Woojin groaned and flipped them. Felix back was landing on the couch, it felt very uncomfortable but Woojin began to thrust in him that made him moan too. He arched his back when Woojin roughly thrusted his cock in him, Felix's eyes had opened wide in surprise, he wrapped his arms around the older's shoulders.

"H—hyung—ah! Hah—please—" Felix suddenly came probably from all the uncomfortable feelings he's feeling.

"Shh baby, I'm getting there. Fuck! I love how tight you are." Woojin continued to drill into him harder and harder. Felix can't feel his butt anymore, he felt numb so he just held tight on the older's shoulders until Woojin cummed inside him. They both panted hard, it was the first time too that his partner became this wild to the point of being rough with him. There's suddenly this cold creeping in his chest, the same feeling he felt before, the unsettling feeling in his chest like it's new but familiar.

"Oh god, I'm sorry, baby. Did I hurt you too much?" Woojin was back to being gentle again, he has a worry look plastered on his sweaty face. Felix just hummed and closed his eyes from exhaustion and mumbled a "it's fine" to his boyfriend.

"Let's clean up." The aftercare with Woojin was the best, that's one of the reasons he fell for Woojin so much.

"I love you, hyung."Felix whispered.

It's always a hum from Woojin's replies. He never said it back. He never said he loved Felix. Even though Felix can feel it through his actions, he'd still love to hear it from the older. But he didn't mind it so much because he loved his boyfriend so it was okay.

That rough session were followed by many nights and when Felix started to cry, Woojin would turn to be gentle and acted like Felix was so precious in contrast with his actions moments ago. Then, he'll feel that odd feeling again inside his chest again. He felt like their relationship was more on sex and there's no feelings anymore. Although Woojin was still so caring and kind to hom, he's patient with him but not during sex, Felix wasn't so sure anymore. This wasn't the relationship he wanted anymore. His nights were spent in sex, mostly. No more soft cuddles in front of a movie anymore.

Eventually Felix became frustrated and tired with their dynamics that they have broken up. He loved the older and he was happy with him but it was also suffocating him as the days go by. It was the longest relationship he had and he thought Woojin was the one for him. It took him days afyer their break up that he felt the pain.

Felix had realized that his poor heart had enough.


	6. Six led to seven (he let them go)

In the remaining days of his high school, to distract himself from the pain, he joined a dance club and focus himself into dancing. He realized one day that he loved dancing so instead of wallowing to heartaches, he should divert his attention to some productive activity like dancing. And he found himself in every beat of the music he's dancing to, he was comforted by dancing. He made the dance studio his second home. He let himself lost in the music everytime he came to the studio.

He met a couple, Hyunjin and Minho, also members of the dance club. Although Minho was older of both him and Hyunjin, he was still in high school for some financial matters years ago. Minho and Hyunjin were both good looking and Felix was in awe, could it be possible to harbor a crush to two dudes at the same time? Let alone having a crush on a couple. 

He was whipped for the both of them so instantly that one night they invited him over their apartment and he can't say no. They knew that he has a crush to the both of them and they're coming into Felix's pants as they offered a threesome. The term was new to him and the couple had explained it to him. Because he was whipped, they had tried it but in the end it was not Felix's forte. The sex with them was great, the couple was amazing, but then again it was not his cup of tea. He wanted to be in a relationship with one person only and he wanted a serious relationship and not some hook ups or some casual threesome. 

He tried again with Seungmin, he was just a few months younger than him and he's sweet, they're both freshmen in college. But he realized they're not meant to be together. Seungmin was also a nerd and a perfectionist. It was okay at first but they often argue over things that they had different views of. So it ended too quickly, Seungmin didn't even spare him a look when they broke up.

His failed attempts of entering a relationship came into him all at once, but there is still this hope that one day, he'll find the one whom he will love and will also love him back.


	7. Final Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, changlix (•ө•)♡

He moved on and forgot everything behind by dancing his way to be okay. He joined another dance club in his university and this time he made sure to not engage in hot and handsome couple dancers again. Being a dance major was hectic enough to mess around. His schedule was tight, he even have a hard time adjusting it at first but he always reminded himself that this was not high school anymore, this was college and it was different and difficult too.

As days gone by, he didn't notice that he's doing okay, he had moved on from all those heartaches. He felt pressured instead with all the constant dance activities, buy he managed it eventually since it's his major. Dancing is his passion and he should work hard to graduate. He made friends here and there and that was it, no more funny business.

Being a dance major requires them to choreograph a song every other week, he's on his way to the usual studio room he's been using since he joined the dance club. He always practices late so he can concentrate on making a choreography without some other occupants in the room. He's about to open the door when he hears music playing inside. It seems like there's still someone occupying the room.

He slowly opens the door and peeks inside, the music he's hearing has someone rapping to it. The voice of this mystery rapper is so raw and kind of husky, it gives him goosebumps. He feels like he heard this guy's voice before but can't remember when and where he had heard it. He didn't see his face, only his back, and he's wearing an all black clothes with a black cap on his head that seemed to cover his eyes and even half his face that even though he's facing the mirror, Felix can't still see his face. He just notice the guy's sharp chin, it could maybe cut him into half. Felix rolled his eyes at his ridiculous thought.

The guy suddenly stops rapping and looks at the doorway, he smiles and Felix feels like he knew this guy already but kind of not at the same time.

"Felix! Thank God, you're here! I thought you won't come anymore."

Felix was surprised because this guy knew him? Since when? He was confused and he showed it on his face and it made the guy realized something.

"Oh. Sorry. Oh my god, I am so rude. I'm Seo Changbin."

"Uh hello? How did you know me? Did we met?" As creepy as Felix felt at this moment but he has to come inside the room.

"We're schoolmates in high school though I graduated first before you."

Felix was shocked for the second time tonight in a span of a few minutes. He didn't know a Changbin in his high school—

"Yeah. You don't know me but I know you."

Felix realized his mistake of saying it out loud again, "sorry, just forget I said that."

"It's fine. In fact, I was surprised that you were also in this university. I am in the music production department by the way."

"Oh. Uhm why were you waiting for me?" Felix wasn't sure of that as statement or a question since he didn't know why Changbin is here. Changbin claps his hands together as if he's remembering something.

"Yeah. About that, I'm sorry if this is so sudden, we uh have this project to create a song and let someone from the dance major to choreograph for it. Then we have to perform it together during the intramurals."

He said it plainly like they were friends for a long time and it makes Felix confused even more, "oh, great.."

"Uhm was that a good 'great' or.."

The slight frown on Changbin's face gave Felix a weird feeling inside, he felt bad already for saying no. He thought of why not trying it since he hasn't decided yet on what song to use on his own project.

"I'm sorry, Felix, it's so sudden I know, you didn't even know me and i was just—"

"Let's do it."

Changbin yelled out in surprise then he blushed when he realized what he did. Felix found it cute. It contrasted how he aggressively raps a while ago. Felix smiled as Changbin cleared his throat in slight embarrassment.

"So uh, I have already my song and we can record it in my studio and—"

Felix was the one who yelled this time, surprised that the older has studio.

"You have a studio?"

"Yeah. But it's small, not so much equipment in there too so don't keep your hopes up." Changbin answered sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

"That was cool!" Felix answered dreamily. He dreamed to be a professional choreographer and he wanted to own his own dance studio. 

As much as Changbin loves to keep looking at Felix's expression but he should not let his hopes up about his studio, so he dismissed the thought right away.

"Trust me, Felix. It's not yet equipped with apparatus. I have to save money first on that." 

"That was still cool." Felix insists.

Changbin cleared his throat. He really loves to look at the dreamy look on the younger's beautiful face but he doesn't want to be a creep especially that they just formally met.

"Thank you, Felix." They exchange warm smiles after that.

_  
Felix realized that he knew Changbin already, he looked familiar but at first he can't pinpoint to where did they meet before. It turned out that Changbin was a friend of Chan. They didn't have a chance to meet properly because he was too occupied with Chan.

While working at their projects, they also gave time to know each other and Felix is trying so hard to know Changbin more because it's unfair on his part which Changbin knew him well while he didn't even remember him.

Changbin worked at night all throughout his high school to send himself to school. His parents disowned him when he told them he wanted to do music and his parents thought he has no future in pursuing music. So he left.

Felix cried and ugly sobbed in front of the older when Changbin told him that story because unlike him, he still has a family who supported him financially, he just chose to be independent.

The end of their project collaboration didn't deter them from seeing and talking to each other and knowinh each other more. Changbin almost knew of Felix's unfortunate past relationships because it was like fate that brought him always near to the younger. In high school, he backed away from meeting him when his friend, Chan, was showing interest in him. He worked during the summers just beside the café Felix has been working in too, he knew about Felix's relationships at that time. He didn't intervene, he has no rights to, besides he focused himself in his studies and his multiple jobs at night to save up money for school and for his dream to own a music studio.

He always knew Felix all along, Changbin was friends with the dancer couple, Hyunjin and Minho, so he knew the couple's shenanigans but didn't dare to intervene, he has no rights to, at all. Changbin thought he wouldn't see the younger anymore when he's almost graduating high school but he was wrong. He applied as a cashier in that convenience store Woojin had worked in too, he was surprised to see the younger with the older at that time. It was then one day, Felix didn't go in that convenience store anymore.

Now in college, he was beyond surprised when he saw Felix's name in the list of the newly accepted freshman in the same university he's studying at. He also knew of his relationship with that bookworm nerd who worked as an assistant librarian of the university and he was there when they have broken up, inside the said library.

It was creepy for Changbin if he's being honest, how he knew the younger all along, but he believed that it was fate that always brought him near to the younger and now fate works to meet the younger finally. He thought his feelings for the younger will fade away since that moment Chan said Felix was his boyfriend already. Yes, he has feelings for the younger in a long time and it's still there inside his chest.

The project collaboration was just a cover up to be near with Felix because this time he has grown a ball or two to really know him better, to make him smile, to ask him out maybe and everything else will follow eventually, that's what he hopes for when they're friends now.

Changbin turned to look at the younger beside him, he was sleeping with his cute mouth slightly opened. Cute. Changbin has to swallowed hard to control himself from just slamming his lips to the younger's.

He insisted to study together this time and Changbin brought Felix in his studio. But now he's asleep like a cute child. Changbin turned to his side to have a better view on the younger, he smiled as he slowly touched the younger's cheek. Felix released a contented sigh as if he's enjoying the soft caress on his cheek.

Changbin swallowed hard again as he very-slowly leaned forward. He wanted to show the younger how precious and beautiful he is, but he's afraid he'll end up hurting him and he couldn't bare with that, not when the younger's previous relationships were still fresh to him. Changbin felt like a creep but can't actually help it as he booped his nose to the younger's button nose. Then he nosed the younger's cheek and closed his eyes for a while. He opened his eyes and pulled away from his face, he sighed after looking at his wristwatch. Time to wake Felix up.

"Lix? Wake up. You need to at least eat before sleeping." But Chan was greeted with nothing except for the low snore Felix is making. He chuckles and pokes the younger's nose and it's effective when Felix scrunches his nose and shakes his head a little only to turn his face to the other side. Changbin laughed at that, he heard Felix groaned.

"I told you, I will not study with you in your studio because it will end up with me sleeping!" Felix whines without moving from his position and Changbin could imagine the pout of the younger's lips. Changbin smiles and pokes Felix's side that made him squirm and finally sits up staight facing the older, pouting.

"I know you'll graduate soon but that doesn't mean you'll bully me for it!" Felix grumbled.

"I was not bullying you, Lix. I was waking your sleepy ass up. And what's wrong with me graduating? You are still welcome here and we can still do this, I mean we can hang out or help you study."

Felix was surprised and touched by the older's words. It was so sincere he could cry. He thought Changbin graduating and he'll find job and then he'll be busy, he'll forget about him and not what the older had just said. Changbin still think of him even after graduation?

"Lix?"

Felix blinked a few times before looking at the older, "do you still want me here even if you'll be out of the university?"

"Yes, Felix. Nothing will change, well except that I'm not a student anymore but I can still help you study."

Felix's heart aches from too much happiness. He could kiss this hyung right here, right now but he didn't want to ruin everything, his friendship with Changbin, he can't afford to lose it this time. So instead, he smiled at the older, as a silent thank you for still wanting him in the future.

"Hyung, I'm hungry."

"Well, me too. Let's go out for dinner."

_  
It was indeed a thing for them even if Changbin had graduated a year ago. Nothing has changed like he promised, except that Changbin is a regular producer now to one of the well-known music companies of Seoul. He still has time for Felix, he still helped him study, he still let him come over in his studio which became Changbin's home now. He did a few construction to add his bedroom and little living room and kitchen, leaving the widest space as the recording booth and some recording equipments. He was still the same Changbin to Felix. The same Changbin whom he had fallen in love with since the first year of college, but he didn't want anything to mess up just like what happened to his past relationships. He thought that Changbin's way out of his league, he didn't even know if the older likes him the same way as he is to him. It was sad but can't do anything about it. It's enough for him, he's already happy with Changbin, and he was contented with it.

Felix stayed at the cheap apartment near his university and he's finishing up his assignments at the moment. He swears his last year of the university brings him so much paper works than the performances they needed to create. It was a weekend anyway but he needs to do his assignments early, a skill he got from Changbin. He smiles when he remembers the older.

Felix stomach groaned from hunger, he pouted as he rubbed his stomach. He momentarily recalls if he still has some edible left overs to eat. Just then his phone dings, a signal for a new message received. He smiled when the message came from the man he just thought a second ago. He quickly read the message, leaving his stomach groaned from hunger.

From: Binnie <3  
I'll be there in 20. Wear comfortable clothes. <3

The heart emoji at the end made his heart quicken its beating. Then another message came.

From: Binnie <3  
I mean :)

Felix giggles, sometimes his hyung is a dork without him knowing. 

From: Binnie <3  
Go. Get ready. :D

Felix is not surprised anymore, during weekend, Changbin would call or text him to go somewhere to eat, sometimes they'd hang out in a park. But right now, he's not sure , the text just said wear something comfortable. Felix looks down at the pajama he's wearing.

"Well, I am comfortable in these!" Felix mutters to himself but goes to his room nonetheless to change.

"Hey, Binnie hyung!" Felix grinned at the handsome man waiting for him outside, even for a simple black t-shirt, the older always looks so handsome. He could stare at him forever like this.

"Come on, I'm hungry." Changbin smirked as he extends his arm for Felix to take his hand. This time, Felix can say that they'll going to eat dinner.

"Where are we going?" 

"Let's go to this restaurant, my workmates said it was perfect there from food and everything."

Felix frowns a little, "hyung, it's sounds expensive, you'll just waste your money there. Let's just order some cheap food and we can just eat here. I miss those times too."

"Maybe next time, right now let's go try this place out. And for your information I'm not wasting my money when I'm spending it with you." Changbin squeezed Felix hand and he felt like his heart was being squeezed too. Changbin missed the blush that adorned on the younger's face as he dragged the younger softly to look for a taxi.

"Hyung, this place is so cool! It's huge!" Felix lets out a comment in amazement as they are standing in front of the two-story restaurant building. Changbin was happy just by looking at Felix's face in awe. Changbin was nervous for tonight, he made a reservation in one of the makeshift hut in the second story for their dinner tonight. Felix gasped when a waiter led them to Changbin's reserved table at the corner of the large room. He turned to look at the older who was quiet and feeling nervous as they entered the place.

"Binnie, this will cost you a ton! Let's just get out of here and eat somewhere cheap." Felix leaned in close to the older and whispered so that the awaiting waiter will not hear him. It made Changbin smile.

"Actually, I've reseaved this already last week, so we can't back out now." Changbin whispered back, a smile still lingering on the corner of his mouth.

Felix blinked at the older and just muttered a quiet 'what?' to Changbin. Then Changbin signals the waiter to get the food he had ordered for his reservation.

When they had settled down and the food had arrived, Felix still couldn't recover from his shock. Changbin gave him a raise eyebrow in question.

"What's going on, hyung? Did you get a promotion?"

Changbin chuckles, "No, but before I tell you, let's eat first and have the taste of their food." And upon hearing the word food, Felix's mood has flipped into a complete 360°. They casually talked as they ate and they had tried the wine and the desserts. Felix also took notice of how the older is fidgeting as if he's nervous of something. Felix got worried right away, it's not a common occurrence of his hyung to be like this. Felix swallowed the last of his dessert and looked at Changbin's face.

"Hyung, are you okay?"

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine, Lixie."

"You're like anxious—are you nervous or something?" Felix didn't know how to reassure his hyung when he didn't know what's the matter in the first place.

Changbin wipes his lips with a napkin and swallows hard. Here goes nothing.

"Felix— I don't know how to express or to tell you this. I've been keeping this for too long already and I am still afraid of ruining everything but I promise whatever your decision is, I'll respect it and nothing will change between us."

Felix is confused yet his heart is hammering inside his chest. Without waiting for a reply yet, he continued.

"Remember when I joked about how fate kept on bringing me near to you?" Felix nodded his head and Changbin still continues his speech. He has prepared his ass for this, so he might as well finish this as planned.

"Well, it's not really a joke, I believed in fate and I believed it has a reason why it kept on happening. At first, I didn't intervene with what's happening in your past even if I was aware of all of that, I don't have the right to. And then you came to the university, we became close, I enjoyed the moments together with you and I don't want to ruin everything but I can't hold it anymore. Everytime I look at you, I felt like I've found the one you know?"

"Felix, I like you for so long now. I like you as in I want to date you. I— I don't know if you feel the same but please can we not change anything? I will respect your decision if you're not— Felix? Oh God, I'm sorry, don't cry please."

Changbin was beginning to regret his decision when he saw a lone tear falling down on Felix's cheek. He stands up from his seat and goes to the opposite side, quickly wiping the tears that are falling now on the younger's cheeks.

Felix had shed so much tears from his past relationships before and he didn't want to cry again but right at this moment, it was different. He was crying for a different reason. A whole different reason.

"It needs to get changed, Binnie." And Changbin got panic and thought how foolish he was for not holding in his emotion. Now it's over, it's ruined, he made Felix cry—

"Because we'll be boyfriends, there's gotta be changes eventually." Felix continues, smiling at the older.

"What—?"

"I like you too, hyung. I like you too for so long now."

"Really? I didn't ruin everything?" Felis shook his head and wrapped his arms around the older's shoulders.

"You didn't ruin everything." Changbin hugged Felix so tight, it doesn't matter if there are other people around them.

Their first kiss was perfect too, under the moon light of Changbin's studio/house after that eventful date that night. Their first make out was heaven, Changbin was so patient and so caring. He always looked out for the younger. He's so gentle too, he treated Felix like a prince, trully a new feeling for him and everything was so perfect. He loved Changbin so much, he's not just ready to confess it yet without thinking how his past relationships ended.

_  
Felix lays bare in the middle of his lover's bed.

"You're so beautiful." Changbin whispers above him.

Felix flushes at that, it's not the first time the older complimented him but all those time he felt shy. He squirms as he suddenly feels shy under Changbin. It's not also the first time that he's naked in front of the older but this will be the first time that they'll gonna do it. He covers his face with his hands. Changbin just chuckles.

"Baby, don't hide." Changbin whispers as he takes Felix's hands away from his face.

Felix groaned, "Changbin just get to it already."

Changbin chuckles again, "are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Yes."

Changbin cupped Felix's cheeks like they were the most precious things on earth, kissing his lips passionately.

"Ready baby?" After some time of preparing Felix, he leaned down to kiss the younger softly once again.

"Oh God, you're acting like I'm some virgin. Just fuck me already!" The whine of Felix's voice made Changbin laugh before entering the younger's awaiting hole. It was slow and Felix was encouraging him to go however he wants by hooking both his legs around the older's thighs.

"Tell me if I hurt you, okay?" Changbin pants above Felix.

"You wont hurt me. It's okay." Then it was Changbin's signal to go fast and hard but still with caution to not hurt his partner. It was a perfect moment for them. Felix grabbed Changbin's arms which were beside his head and he moaned as Changbin hit his prostate perfectly. He arched his body when Changbin hits it again and again.

"Changbin..." Changbin kissed the younger's lips passionately and Felix circled his arms around the older's neck as he kissed him back. Changbin's thrusts became erratic, he gasped when he pulled away from Felix's lips.

"Baby, I think I'm c-cumming.."

"Me too. Cum inside ah—" When Changbin hit that bundle of nerve again, he felt like he's in heaven. Felix felt his eyes rolling on its own on the back of his head out of so much pleasure he was feeling at the moment. This is it, this is the perfect moment, his final chance of love.

As they cummed together, they also uttered the same words of love in unison.

"I love you." 

For Felix, it was just a whisper exclusively for Changbin's ears only, when Changbin heard Felix say the same words, he had to make sure he heard it right but the younger is sobbing while staring at him with his teary eyes. Felix sobbed in happiness, at last his love was returned. He was loved too. He smiled at Changbin and they just stared at each other with loving eyes as they came from their highs.

"I love you so much, Lix." Changbin repeated.

"And I love you too so much, hyung. Thank you for still wanting me."

"Of course, I'd still want you, why would you think I won't?"

"It's just— nothing, it's nothing. I'm just happy you feel the same. I love you." Felix's chest is exploding with so much happiness. It's so good to say you love someone when that someone said it back.

Same with the older, he too was exploding with pure happiness, "I love you too." He kissed the younger again on the lips, then peppered him kisses all over on his pretty face until Felix is squirming and giggling under him.

The aftercare with Changbin was also perfect, he treated him with so much care and in that moment Felix felt more love towards the older. He may be broken for the past moments of his life but this moment right here with Changbin is worth for the rest of his lives.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll add tags and characters everytime I'll add chapters.


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